Are You There God? It's Me, Blair
by YellowRose12
Summary: It’s the moment most girls dream of... prom night. Unfortunately for Blair Waldorf things aren’t going exactly as planned and she’s got a few choice words for the big man upstairs. C/B of course. ONESHOT. Mild Spoilers. R&R! Dress pics on my profile!


A/N: This is my first work. I don't consider myself much of a writer, so please tell me what you think! Any advice is appreciated. I'm still learning. It's long I know, but personally, I love longer one-shots as opposed to chapter fics. Just my personal taste though. Enjoy! REVIEWS ARE LOVE!

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_**Are You There God? It's Me, Blair.**_

Blair stood at the banister pondering why the hell she even came. Well, it was tradition of course and if Blair believed in anything, she believed in tradition.

She is Upper East Side royalty. You go to the best schools, attend only Ivy League universities and then of course, marry and produce successions to the throne.

That's just how it worked. It was tradition. Prom is tradition.

This didn't change the fact that she felt completely and utterly alone tonight.

Things with Nate had ended cordially, thank God. Inside she knew it would never work out but for once she thought, she hoped, that she could fool herself once again. He was with Serena tonight, just as friends of course. As Blair scanned the crowd below, she tried to stop herself from looking for those familiar mahogany eyes but they were nowhere to be found. She started to shiver just thinking about him.

They hadn't really spoken since the night in the elevator. She'd cried herself to sleep every night after that, waking up in a cold sweat, whispering his name into her darkened room. No one ever answered. When she didn't have nightmares about the night he left her, she'd dream of their fairytale life together.

She stopped herself from thinking such ridiculous notions. _He's Chuck Bass._ There was no further explanation needed.

This was it. It was time for Blair to make her entrance. Her hands felt clammy against the handrail. She straightened her back, lifted her chin and slowly, gracefully descended the stairs. Her burgundy Pamella Roland dress delicately trailed behind.

She could feel all eyes of the crowd on her. She knew what they were thinking.

_How sad. Blair Waldorf all alone at prom. Tsk tsk._

She swallowed and looked around for Serena and Nate, or Barbie and Ken, as she now referred to them.

_God,_she thought,_this is awful._ _Why did I ever let Serena convince me to do this?_

Her head turned slightly as she saw a mass of golden locks and sun-kissed shoulder fast approaching. Serena looked like a goddess in her silver Elie Saab gown.

"Blair! You look gorgeous!"

There was no doubt in her mind that she looked delectable tonight. She spent a full month looking for the perfect gown. Even if she didn't exactly want to be here, it was not Blair Waldorf to do things less than perfect. Her make-up was simple, yet elegant and her hair was swept up into a soft, delicate chignon with a few pieces falling here and there. The overall look was romantic and charming. _Just like herself_, she thought. A smile graced her lips.

"Thanks Serena. You look amazing as usual." She spoke with confidence.

Nate walked up behind Serena, "Here you go" as he handed her a glass of punch. He was perfection as usual. A simple black tux and those stunning blue eyes could make any girl swoon.

"Blair, you look beautiful, really" He leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Do you want a glass also?"

She took a deep breath to reply when she felt it. _Chuck._ He was here. Her breath stopped. She could feel his eyes on her. She didn't dare look around. She knew he was close.

_I need to get away._

Her was voice shaky as she replied. "Oh no, I'm fine, thank you though. I think I'm going to go to the ladies room. Meet you at a table?"

"Yeah sounds good."

She smiled, smoothed her dress and slowly turned around. She had expected him to be right there, looking at her with his broken eyes. He wasn't… _but I could've sworn he was there. I thought… No. Stop. Go now._

She walked ever so quickly towards the powder room, weaving in and out of the dancing couples. It was a slow song.

_God, are you _trying _to torture me?_ If she could hear him she figured he might just say, "Yes, of course Blair. You're my favorite." And then laugh wickedly. There was no response as she forced the door open. As in any prom, it was packed full of little girls in big gowns crying their eyes out over some silly boy. Her dear friends surrounded her while chanting the Boys Suck gospel.

_Such a cliché,_ she thought.

Blair strode towards the mirror. She looked flawless in every possible way. Tears stung her eyes as she reached into her purse for her lip-gloss. She glided the cherry stain across her lips and blinked away the tears. She glanced at the juvenile girl with her head held in her hands, and walked out. Oh, how she saw too much of herself in her.

The door seemed heavier as she opened it. Maybe it was. Everything seemed a bit heavier since he left her alone with only a note to appease her love.

Her favorite song was playing. _Moon River_. It was Holly's song. Breakfast at Tiffany's, of course.

_Oh God. No. Please. Come on, don't you ever listen to me? I'm Blair Waldorf for Christ's sake!_

_Moon river, wider than a mile_

_I'm crossing you in style some day_

_Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker_

_Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way_

She felt her heart sink to her stomach. She had imagined once that she would dance with him to this song. He'd hold her close and whisper promises of forever into her ear. Then, they'd sneak off and make love in the shadows. She was always a dreamer though.

_Where is that stupid exit?_

Her Louboutin's carried her as she pushed through the crowd.

Tears fell from her eyes, sliding down her cheek onto his necklace. Her breath had become ragged.

_I need air._

She reached the door before the song ended, nearly knocking over a couple of girls in the process. A whoosh of cool air reached her lungs as she flung open the double doors.

She took a deep breath. She would apologize later to Serena for leaving so early. She would understand.

Her hand flew up to hail a taxi. She picked up her dress and climbed in. The driver turned around, "Where you goin' baby?" He had a thick New Orleans accent and smelled of Cajun chicken but she didn't mind.

"1136 Fifth Avenue, please"

"Alright baby. You sure are looking mighty fine tonight. Why you goin' home so early?"

"Long night I'm afraid." Her fingers wiped away a few stray tears.

"I know those, baby, I know those."

A few minutes passed, she paid the nice man and hopped out. Right before she shut the door, he yelled out, "Hey baby, don't let that boy break you, ok? He's a fool if he doesn't come and get you baby.

She gave a small smile, closed the door and watched the car drive away. It was funny how the best advice is free. Ok so technically, it wasn't free but whatever.

Blair climbed the stairs to her room slowly. She sat down on her bed, her clutch held loosely in her hand beside her. _What a night, Blair. You spent hours getting ready for less than 30 minutes of Hell. How nice_, she thought.

She stood up. She felt unsteady all of sudden. Her eyes got a little hazy but cleared. Her breath became shallow. He was all she could think about.

His lips, so full and soft. His jaw, hard and defined. His eyes, sad and full of want. She just wanted to touch him, to breathe him in.

Someday she would forget his musky scent, a mixture of scotch and cologne with an ever so slight hint of cigarettes. She hated the smell of cigarette smoke but somehow he made it irresistible.

Someday, she would be able to get through a day without thinking about him. She would move on, marry another Yale graduate and make beautiful UES babies.

Someday…

She took a deep breath, glanced sideways at her reflection in the mirror then walked over towards her window. The night was over. She had halfway hoped he would come and sweep her off her feet. He would say something so epic, so poetic that it would make her wonder why she ever lost faith in him at all.

_You can be so childish sometimes. Don't you know he'll never change?_

It's such a shame this dress didn't get such a night. She looked down at the wine-colored masterpiece. It really was a beautiful dress. She felt beautiful in it. Her hands skimmed her shoulder blades as she reached behind to pull down the zipper. She got it halfway down before she broke down and collapsed onto the floor.

_You can't even get your stupid dress off! Where is Dorota when I need her?_

Blair had given her the night off because she figured she'd spend the night with Serena.

Blair's body shook with sobs. Her cries reverberated throughout her room. Shaky hands clutched her knees as she rocked her body like a little toddler. Freud would say she was regressing.

It was then that she heard his voice.

"Do you need help?"

He spoke like honey. His words always flowed so sweetly; they caused her heart skip beats and her stomach to do weird flip-flops.

Her breath caught in her throat. A slow sigh escaped her lips as she tried to regain her footing. She was careful not to face him.

_Yes, of course I need help Chuck. I need you. I need us. Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck._

She turned around slowly and caught his eyes in hers. He just stared, as he looked right through her. He always could see past all the bullshit she put up as a cover for the shattered insecure girl inside.

He browed furrowed as he looked down for a moment. His eyes peeked through his lashes.

"You look … so beautiful." He said it like it hurt, like it was somehow painful to look at her.

She couldn't speak. Her words were stuck somewhere between her tongue and her heart. She just swallowed hard and turned around.

"… Can you?" Her hand touched the abandoned zipper.

She wondered how long he had been standing there. Did he see her wailing on the floor like a pathetic child?

He stepped towards her. His jaw tightened as he leaned forward to smell her hair. She was wearing his necklace. He let out a slow breath along the back of her neck. He had completely broken her.

"Please, Chuck." Her voice cracked. She knew what he was doing but she couldn't bare it. She needed him to just pull the zipper and leave. Take the bandage off quick so it doesn't sting. It always does though anyways, just a little less so.

He snapped back into reality and slowly raised his hand towards her dress. His fingertips glided down her spine as he moved farther down the dress.

His hands felt like ice against her hot skin. He felt her tense. Her breathing had stopped as the dress dropped to the floor. She was exquisite. Her naked form would never cease to amaze him.

He turned around and grabbed the silk robe laid casually on her bed.

"Here."

Blair stood motionless as he draped the fabric across her shoulders and she slipped her arms through the holes. She grabbed the tie and made a bow, slowing turning around but careful not to look at him just yet.

He was in jeans and a plain white t-shirt. His hands were empty, held loosely at his side. He had nothing to lose. An orphan boy with his heart on his sleeve stood before her. She had never seen him so carelessly dressed. It was so unlike him. She was so taken by his face earlier to even notice what he was wearing.

Her face rose to meet his eyes.

"Thank you."

She looked down again. He had tears in his eyes. She couldn't watch him cry again. It broke her every time. She just couldn't do it anymore.

_I'm done, _her words echoed in her mind. Boy, was _that_ the biggest lie she ever told. She would never be done. He was her never-ending story of anguish and passionate love. It was one for the ages.

"Blair."

She choked back a sob.

"No, Chuck, please"

"I love you."

He spoke it so clearly, so eloquently. It was like he said it everyday of their life.

Her hands were shaking, as she looked him in the eye.

"You don't have to say anything. I don't deserve it." He looked down.

He paused. A sigh. A clenched jaw.

"I always will Blair."

A single tear ran down his cheek to his collarbone.

He turned to leave, his hands in his pockets.

Blair stood for a moment, taking it in. She didn't even realize he had left her room. Her eyes snapped forward and she ran towards the elevator.

_1st Floor. 1st Floor. Stupid elevator. Go faster!_

She was barefoot with nothing but a thigh skimming black silk robe on. Her hair was still in its elegant bun but more pieces had fallen out around her face. She practically leapt out of the elevator running after him. She must have looked like a crazy person, but for once in her life, she didn't care.

She saw him walking just past her building by the time she got outside. He never walked. Where was his limo? He continued to confuse her tonight.

"CHUCK!"

He turned around. His eyes were rimmed red and there were tears steaming down his face. A few droplets stained his shirt.

"You promise me you won't break my heart again?" She shouted from a distance.

He walked towards her, his eyes locked to hers. She had never seen such a look of determination as he took her hand in his. She wiped his tears away with her free hand. She smiled and kissed his jaw line.

"I promise Blair. I swear to you, I will _never_ hurt you ever again."

She pulled him into an embrace, kissing his forehead, his eyelids, and his cheeks.

"I trust you. I love you Chuck"

His body was shaking with silent sobs. She felt his tears soak through her robe. He held her so tightly; she felt she might suffocate. It was the best feeling she had had since that week before Tuscany. They were going to make it this time. They would be honest and true. No more lies. No more manipulating. Just love. Just them.

As they pulled apart, he held her hand, and she led him back to her room. They didn't even make it past the elevator till he had her against the wall, snaking his hands across her waist. A gasp escaped as he kissed her neck. True love or not, they were still horny teenagers.

"I was so stupid Blair," he whispered into her skin.

"I love you." He said it again. It never got old.

_Ding._ The elevator sounded.

Her legs were wrapped around his waist as he carried her up the stairs towards her room. She laughed as he nearly lost his balance and grabbed onto the rail. He set her down by her bed and undid her bow. Her hands slipped under his shirt and she caressed his chest.

_God, I missed this._

His lips slowly moved with hers. His fingertips threaded her hair; the bun had been destroyed minutes ago. Her hands fumbled for his belt buckle and slid down his pants. He stopped for a moment and pulled back.

"What?" she questioned.

He just looked at her. She was ravishing. Her hair was tousled. A gleam of sweat shone on her chest as she breathed heavily. Lips swollen red and completely naked, she was his. All his. He would never let her get away this time. He swore that to himself.

"Nothing."

Blair attacked him, pulling him onto the bed. He kissed a slow trail of kisses down her stomach as she arched her back. His hands glided softly down her arms.

"Enough of the foreplay Bass. I want you." Her voice was deadly.

That was all I took for him to thrust himself inside her. She cried out his name in ecstasy. He smirked; obviously he hadn't lost his touch.

It had been almost a year since they'd last made love but it was like no time had passed at all. They knew each other's body like their own. Each touch, each kiss was burned into their memory.

When they finished, she rested her cheek on his chest. She could hear his heart beating and his lungs left a rhythmic hum in her ear. She rose slightly to push the hair out of his face and kiss his forehead.

Blair didn't consider herself a particularly religious person but tonight had to be one of divine intervention.

As she closed her eyes, she whispered a soft "Thank you" to the man upstairs and drifted off to sleep.

_Fin._

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A/N: Random, but the cab driver is based on the sandwich ladies at my university cafeteria. They say "baby" at the beginning or end of every single sentence. It's great. "What kinda bread you want baby? Baby, you want lettuce? Did you say chicken salad baby?" They're my favorite. :]


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